I was laid off 6 months ago. Since then I have made a full time job of aggressively seeking a job. I’ve done some freelance work but I am ready for a full time position. My efforts alone have not been enough. Here’s where you come in:
It’s simple, really. I am offering $1,004 (I like the…
Example of some good marketing.
I love this city during the holidays.
Time Warner building
It’s not as exciting when you work in the building.
Apparently that’s all I’m worth, 5 dollars. Well, at least to the guy in the Cadillac who offered me a measly 5 dollars for sexual favors.
I wanted to whip my hair back and yell that I couldn’t even buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks for that, but then he let everyone in earshot know I have hot legs, which I’m guessing that was all he could see with my winter coat on.
Just another Tuesday with Liz.
Maybe he just has a thing for girls in leggings.
where should you not park your car?
On the sidewalk.
What is it about 95th Street that causes cab drivers to drive like 16 year old girls (ie. hit things). In last two weeks, I have been in a cab that hit a bike rider flying through the intersection (of 95th St and Columbus) and I had an episode of Grey’s Anatomy It’s Always Sunny interrupted by the screech of a cab braking before he hit a light pole at 95th and Broadway.
On second thought, maybe its just crazy-ass bike riders. I went down and asked the doorman about it and he said that the cab swerved to avoid a delivery man hell bent on making his delivery in the promised 30 minutes or less.
So…..I had a 12oz cup of coffee.
Just one though, I swear. Don’t be mad.
Not bad. This is my first cup of coffee since last Friday so I think I’m doing ok. Clearly I’m not the quit cold turkey type but I’m not going to let this affect my progress, even though it may look as though it has.
Please don’t be disappointed in me.
I was going to wait to tell you this, but since you couldn’t even make it a week, I figure there is no point in waiting any longer. So every morning, I have been grinding up a caffeine pill and putting it in your orange juice (yes, like your dad’s shrooms - no not the shrooms that most of you are thinking about). So apparently, it’s just your natural personality to be unpleasant.
Is it sad that this is topping my birthday list right now? I HATE CHOPPING.
Don’t get this! It lies! I bought it on Saturday and it doesn’t work AT ALL.
I should point out that we purchased the Cuisinart version, which was less than effective. It couldn’t even slice a freaking tomato (funny because that’s what’s in the picture here). I’m pretty sure a plastic knife could do a better job chopping a tomato than this POS. That being said, I have only myself to blame. I have wanted one of these ever since I saw an infomercial while watching Nick at Nite. For some reason though, when we were at Bed Bath and Beyond, we decided to go with the Cuisinart and not the sure fire “As seen on TV” Slap Chop. Everyone knows that you can’t go wrong with an “As seen on TV” product (like Proactiv).
Only in Seattle. Ugh.
And in NYC. Is there some guy out there writing jokes for homeless people? Pretty strange coincidence here. It’s not like these guys have the ability to google “funny homeless dude signs”.
Hehe, kidding, relax y’all this was just a drill, I wanted to see how many of you are paying attention. Happy Three month Anniversary to me! Isn’t this the cutest
bouquetcupcake you ever saw?Paul’s Comment: First of all, sorry for the hiatus. I’m an accountant and this time of year, I have minimal free time.
Liz, It’s looks like there is a bite mark. You tried to eat some to see if it was real, didn’t you?
Loves it! Thanks man friend! Happy 3 months to you too (I packed you lunch-that counts as flowers, so were equal?)
Paul’s Comment: I pretty much packed my own lunch, but i’ll consider the fact that you didn’t spend any money on flowers for me a gift in itself. So we’re even.
This is Paul’s version of a “cookie” (he is currently working on a more suitable name). Remind you of something? Oh, it’s also just wonderful for his root canal and cavities.
How lucky am I to live with this cool fellow?
General Mills Cookie? That doesn’t sound good. As Liz mentioned, I haven’t come up with a suitable name that appropriately captures the experience that it is to eat one of these delectable treats, but it certainly will not be General Mills Cookie.
Yes, I have had a root canal, but that was prior to my creation. And that was the result of some shotty dental work that I had done several years ago. I’m cavity free since this creation (my dentist would be so proud).
Creating this is definitely one of my Top 10 accomplishments in life. And if I may say so, this one was wrapped to perfection.
